yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
