You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
