im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
