She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
