i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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