The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
