He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
