My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
