it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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