As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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