Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
