if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
