Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
