I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
