Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
