I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
