I think my vagina is haunted
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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