There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
