Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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