I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
