So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
