It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
