Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
