All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
