ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
