Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
