you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
