Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.

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(571): View more from Virginia

i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.

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(315): View more from New York

You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

(778): View more from British Columbia

SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

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(443): View more from Maryland

I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him

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(956): View more from Texas

tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it

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(850): View more from Florida

Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.

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