Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
