The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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