Me too!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
