I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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