Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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