Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
