TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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