A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
