Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
