Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
