i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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