I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
