stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize