why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
