But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
someone threw a dead crab at me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
