Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
