I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think my mom watched the whole time
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
