you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
