i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
