i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
