Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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