i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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